Breaking the Cycle of Self-Sacrifice: A Guide for Women
Do you find yourself doubting your abilities and self-worth?
Have you ever thought to yourself “I am not worthy?”
Yes! We all have - almost every single female on the planet.
In fact, it’s probably the most debilitating FALSE self-belief women and girls have.
I want to change that!
Indeed, WESTT World is on a mission to let women and girls know that they are AMAZING and WONDERFUL, COMPETENT human beings who bring IMMENSE VALUE to the world.
So, I make NO EXCUSES! I am starting this blog with a sales pitch –
IF YOU NEED HELP CHANGING YOUR BELIEF SYSTEM THEN CONTACT ME NOW!
When I say “sales pitch”, I mean it's FREE to connect and have a first conversation at the very least.
Email me NOW: Madi@westt.eu
Get ready to take control of your life and embrace a more confident, fulfilling version of yourself!
Now read on...
Let’s explore how understanding ourselves can help us break free from the cycle of self-sacrifice and overcome self-doubt.
The Power of Self-Awareness: How to Overcome Self-Doubts and Break the Cycle of Self-Sacrifice
Are you tired of constantly putting others' needs before your own?
Do you doubt your abilities and self-worth?
Then you need to understand that we have all been there, you are not alone, and there are solutions to enable you to harness the power of self-awareness. This will free you from the negativity of self-doubt.
As humans we are all influenced by external forces which shape our belief systems. For women, we particularly take these FALSE BELIEFS to heart and hold them inside our minds for generations.
Belief systems influence our decisions and choices.
For many of us, the ultimate belief we have is that “I am not worthy”.
And that includes for me too, I have been there, not once but multiple times in my life, especially recently whilst I have been going through menopause.
Not sure what I mean?
As an example, let’s take the media, one of the most powerful external influencers in our life – and you can include Social Media here too:
We are bombarded with images and messages about what is important, what is valuable, and what we should aspire to.
We are bombarded with images of impossibly thin and beautiful models, airbrushed to perfection. We see women who are sexualized and objectified, their worth determined by their looks and their sexuality.
We are told that we must strive to be perfect mothers and wives, and that our value lies in our ability to please others.
Add to this, the expectations of friends and family, our jobs, society, and the never-ending list of people who want to leverage (use) our brains and bodies for their gain, then it’s no wonder that so many women and girls end up feeling inadequate and unworthy.
We are constantly comparing ourselves to an impossible standard set by the media, and we can never measure up.
But it doesn't have to be this way.
We can choose to reject the messages of the media and create our own beliefs about what it means to be a female. We can celebrate our unique qualities and strengths, knowing that we are valuable just as we are.
The power of self-awareness is the ability to see yourself objectively and know your strengths and weaknesses. It's the foundation of emotional intelligence and a crucial life skill.
Self-awareness allows you to manage your emotions, set boundaries, and achieve your goals. It's essential for success you want for yourself in all areas of life.
Unfortunately, self-doubt is a common obstacle that prevents people from achieving their full potential. Self-doubt can lead to procrastination, perfectionism, and other destructive behaviours.
The great news is that self-awareness is a skill that can be learned. By increasing your self-awareness, you can overcome self-doubt and break the cycle of self-sacrifice.
What is Self-Doubt? - Why Self-Sacrifice Isn't Worth It
Self-doubt is a common feeling that everyone experiences at some point in their lives. It is the feeling of not being good enough or not being able to do something. It can lead to a lack of confidence and prevent you from taking risks or trying new things.
Furthermore, one of the consequences is that have less clarity in your judgements, decisions and choices.
Whilst limited self-doubt is normal and natural, it can become a problem if it starts to take over your life, or when it prevents you from living your best life.
Women are often their own worst critics. We tend to be hard on ourselves and compare ourselves to others, which leads to feelings of inadequacy. We may doubt our abilities, question our decisions, and second-guess our worthiness.
And all this only gets worst when we face challenges or setbacks.
Left to fester in our heads it can also lead to depression and mental health conditions.
There are multiple factors which contribute to self-doubt: past experiences, perfectionism, negative self-talk, and the pressure to succeed. Imagine, women frequently to be perfect mothers, wives, and employees while juggling multiple roles and responsibilities.
So, it’s no wonder that self-doubt is common!
From Self-Doubt to Self-Love: My Journey of Empowerment
Those of you regularly reading my blogs know bits of my story:
But until now, you may not know that my self-doubt almost resulted in me taking my own life.
You might see me as a confident, privileged and successful businesswomen – and I am that now. But I have been to the bottom.
I had little self-worth or self-belief and I know it was because of all the negativity I had been fed over many years.
This is why I can relate to so many of the women and men I already support.
I am not here to share theory; I am here because I have experienced what I am talking about and I have taken action….and continue to take action to manage it.
Self-doubt NEVER disappears but WE CAN learn how to manage it.
So how did I do it?
You need to start recognising the patterns in your life, including in the way you think and treat yourself.
For many of us, self-doubt and self-sacrifice are patterns that we've become all too familiar with. We doubt our abilities, question our worthiness, and end up sacrificing our own needs in an effort to please others or meet their expectations.
You need to know that:
There is a way to break free from these negative patterns.
Self-awareness is key to overcoming self-doubt and breaking the cycle of self-sacrifice.
When we're able to recognize our own thoughts and feelings, we can begin to understand why we behave the way we do. And with that understanding comes the power to make positive changes.
So, let’s start:
Firstly, as I have already gone from victim to Entrepreneur and Changemaker I am reaching my hand out to you:
If you need a mentor or coach to keep you on track – I am here madi@westt.eu
Secondly, here are a few things you can already start to do:
1. Pay attention to your thoughts and emotions. Whenever you start doubting yourself or feel like you need to sacrifice your own needs, take a step back and observe what's going on inside of you.
What thoughts are running through your mind? What emotions are you feeling?
2. Identify the root cause of your doubts and fears. Once you've identified what's causing your self-doubt or fear, you can begin to address it head-on. Is there something in your past that's still affecting you? Are there certain situations that trigger negative thoughts and emotions?
3. CHALLENGE YOUR NEGATIVE BELIEFS about yourself. After you've identified the root cause of your self-doubt, it's time to challenge your negative beliefs about yourself - Time to take action. That means stepping out of your comfort zone and into new territory.
Don't let your negative beliefs hold you back. You are capable of so much more than you think.
So go out there, head high. YOU HAVE WORTH AND VALUE. Now, prove it to YOURSELF.
This is not about anybody else; this is about YOU!
The Power of Self-Compassion: Overcoming Self-Sacrifice and Doubt
By being more aware of your own wants and needs, it becomes much easier to set healthy boundaries with others and negotiate solutions that work for everyone involved.
So, start these exercises to PUT YOURSELF FIRST and become more aware of your thoughts and patterns of behaviour. Once you identify the root causes of your self-doubt, you can start working on changing them.
WARNING! - This will require challenging your beliefs, looking deep inside yourself. This is one of the most difficult understanding of yourself you will need to do.
You need to:
Become aware of the negative thoughts you have
Become aware of the beliefs you have about yourself,
Start to question where these negative thoughts and beliefs come from
To question why you believe that you're not good enough?
Ask yourself, where did this come from?
And Is it really true?
This is a process you need to repeat frequently and honestly in order to begin understanding your thought and belief patterns
You then need to start changing those thoughts and break the patterns.
Once you start to question your self-doubts, they will begin to lose their power over you.
It will take time and hard work before you begin to realize that most of your belief system is based on irrational fears or false doubts.
The great news is that as soon as you start to gain more confidence in yourself, the self-doubt will start to fade away.
The Art of Saying No: How to Stop Self-Sacrificing for Others
It's no secret that many of us have a hard time saying "no" to others. We don't want to disappoint or upset anyone, so we often put our own needs and desires last. This can lead to a lot of resentment and frustration, not to mention a feeling of being trapped and powerless.
Women especially struggle to say "no."
We are taught from a young age to be selfless and to put others' needs before our own. As a result, we often end up in relationships, in jobs, or in positions where we are constantly sacrificing our own happiness for the sake of someone else. This very often leads to someone taking advantage of us.
Let me be harsh here:
You are not doing anyone any favours by sacrificing your own happiness. In fact, you perpetuate the cycle of self-doubt and low self-esteem.
So, it’s time to more self-aware.
It’s time to start saying NO!
Easier said than done, I know.
But you can start slowly to gain your self-confidence and learn to be more assertive.
1. Start by paying attention to your thoughts and feelings,
· What triggers your good, positive feelings?
· What triggers your bad or negative thoughts and feelings?
Once you know what makes you feel great or despondent about yourself, you can start working on changing those thoughts.
2. Set boundaries with the people in your life.
· Who is giving you love, kindness, encouragement and support in your life?
· Who is constantly taking advantage of your kindness?
· Which of these people adds value to your life?
· How can you increase the time you spend with the people that empower you?
· How can you decrease the time you spend with people who make you feel negative?
Remember YOU DESERVE to be around people who appreciate and respect you, not people who take advantage of your good nature.
The Importance of Boundaries: How to Set Them and Stick to Them
Reframing Negative Thoughts and Fostering Positive Mindsets
It’s easy to get caught in a negative thought loop. You may find yourself dwelling on past failures or feeling anxious about the future. This can lead to a cycle of self-doubt and self-sacrifice, where you put your own needs last.
But there is power in self-awareness. When you become aware of your negative thoughts, you can start to reframe them.
Instead of beating yourself up, try to see the situation in a more positive light.
For example, if you’re feeling down about a failed project, think about what you learned from the experience and how you can apply that knowledge to future endeavours.
We have all been there, me especially, and when I look back, it if from some of my failed projects I received my greatest learning.
It’s also important to foster a positive mindset.
Overcoming Self-Doubt and Embracing Self-Care: A Roadmap for Women
So, in conclusion, here are some ways I get through those moments when people try to impose self-doubt in my mind.
1. I remember it is MY mind – my decisions and my choices!
2. I have learned to be assertive, not aggressive. I know what you want, but there's no need to be pushy or demanding. I state my case calmly and confidently.
3. I keep an open mind and take time to listen and understand all those around me.
4. I have learned to compromise. Communication is a valuable tool in removing tensions.
5. I control my emotions and temper and try not to engage in arguments which can result in people saying things they may regret later, but once the words have been said, they are often retained and feed the self-doubt.
6. I have taught myself to smile and pat myself on the back, literally, when I feel the self-doubt creeping in. – This breaks the pattern cycle of negativity.
7. Similarly, I practice gratitude – Thanking the Universe for everything I have, recognising all the things I have achieved, and appreciating what an amazing human being I am!
Gandhi said, “You must be the change YOU want to see”
Madi says, “You must be the change YOU want to see – NO EXCUSES!”
Founder Madi Group www.madisharma.org
Founder Women’s Eco-nomic & Social Think Tank www.westtworld.com
Author Madi No Excuses! www.madinoexcuses.com
Entrepreneur, International Speaker, Freelance Journalist
Listed as 1 of apolitical’s 100 Most Influential People in Gender Policy in 2018
Linked In Madi Sharma
Twitter @MadiSharma1
Comments