Defining success: what does it mean to you?
Wanting to see certain changes in our lives is a Foundation to our success. But everyone's definition of success is different. You must follow your own path to the success you deserve, the way you define it.
(Update 18/01/23)
Defining success: what does it mean to you?
What change do you want to see?
A desire to make change inspires us to act, and during that act of doing, usually with a lot of hard work, we become successful.
“Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.” says Maya Angelou.
Poet and writer Maya Angelou lived an inspiring life in her fight for civil rights and justice. Through her words, Angelou was able to drive the change she wanted to see.
How to achieve success in life
In the workbook, I gave you in the last blog.
I asked you to draw what success looks like to you.
I am not competent in drawing, but drawing reminds me of being a child when we were more creative, and less constrained by public opinion.
When we doodle or draw, we often create something from nothing, which has some meaning to us.
Similarly, success has a direct meaning to each one of us.
Success is not about what you have, what you do, how much you earn, nor who your friends are. Success is about YOU, and how you define it.
Defining success is not easy – even I looked it up in the dictionary when I got to this point.
And the good news is, you can define it in almost any way you want to: Success can be the accomplishment of an aim or purpose as well as the attainment of fame, wealth, or social status.
So, you can create your own definition.
Very often we are defining our own success on the criteria of others, and even more often, we are trying to replicate their success, instead of creating our own.
Look around you at those people who inspire you, and those people you deem as successful:
Are they always the same type of people?
How is each of these people different to you?
How are each of these people the same as you?
What are the differences between those people you deem ‘successful’, and those you have decided are ‘unsuccessful’?
Create a list and work out what are the criteria you determine for each category.
Sometimes it helps to add names to your listing.
I believe we all have the potential to be successful, IF, we are prepared to work for it.
I am inspired by people who want to create action and do things, no matter how small.
Most of the people who inspire me others do not even notice. They are often anonymous and invisible, doing their work without recognition or reward.
Many of them are women, with two or three low-paid jobs. They are exhausted, but always smiling. Their reward is that they can put food on the table for their families.
For some, their definition of success is that their children do not go to sleep hungry. For others, their definition of success may be that they can afford to send their children to school, in the hope that they can have a better life.
These are my role models because their success demands unselfish hard work and determination.
Think about the people who influence you and why they inspire you:
How do they define success?
How does their definition of success differ from yours?
The mindset of successful people: What separates them from the rest?
Let’s look at this a different way:
If you were given the opportunity to change places with one person, to change lives with that person from today, who would it be?
Why?
What is it they have, that you would like to have?
What is it they do, that you would like to do?
What has stopped you, from doing what they do?
Let’s widen it a little to make it easier: I want you to make a list:
You may choose different people with whom you would like to swap your life with for different reasons.
Take a good amount of time to think about it - It is an important analysis of what you want in your life.
Also consider, what has stopped you from achieving what they have achieved?
Many people know about me: I am not ashamed to share my background:
I do not have any qualifications, no accredited skills, and no formal training. I was a single parent of two young daughters, a survivor of domestic violence and in poverty when I started my own business in my kitchen at home.
Put yourself in my shoes, and your definition of success would no doubt be: To change lives with someone else.
But that’s where you are wrong. My definition of success has always been
“I would not change my life with anyone else on this planet”.
That does not mean that I don’t look to see what others are doing, to learn from them, or be inspired by them. It just means that I am proud of who I am, and everything I have achieved for myself and my family.
Success to me is working hard for what you want, overcoming the barriers, including the failures, and celebrating the triumphs.
I am as proud of my failures as I am of my successes.
As Henry Ford reminds us: Failure is the chance to have another go intelligently.
Failure has been a huge part of my learning curve to success. We will discuss failure in a future blog.
My life has in no way been easy, it still isn’t. However, I am very aware that I am more privileged than most in the world, and the challenges I have faced have only made me more resilient and stronger.
The reason I always tell my story is not to gain sympathy, but to empower others who are in similar situations - and there are many. Very often when times are difficult, we think we are the only ones going through hardship and that it will last forever.
Always remember: Tomorrow is another day, with new opportunities.
I am living proof – Your case study!!
Now, what’s your story?
How does your story lead to your definition of success?
A Hard Reality – Life Gives Us ONLY TWO CHOICES
This may make you uncomfortable, but it needs to be said.
Life gives us choices – Actually, only two choices: TO DO or NOT TO DO
Or as William Shakespeare said, “To be or not to be – That is the question?”
TO DO is TO BE
To not do, is to sit back and watch others BE.
Which choice do you always make? Often/Sometimes/Rarely?
Be honest with me!
These two choices apply to everything in your life.
As an easy example: You cannot win the lottery if you do not buy a lottery ticket.
Ok, so buying a lottery ticket does not guarantee that you will win the lottery, but you do have a possibility to win - An opportunity which was not there without the ticket.
“You have to be in it to win it”, as the UK lottery motto goes.
That’s a simple example, but let’s take the same scenario to a higher level.
Each of us as human beings has been gifted with life.
A life which places before us many opportunities, and possibilities, TO DO.
Each of the things we do is in fact our personal lottery ticket.
Some of the things we do, bring an immediate benefit, like cooking, reading a book, doing exercise, and meeting with friends.
Other things may take a little longer before we see the benefits, but nevertheless, increase our opportunities: like doing a training course, working on our goals, or putting savings away for a rainy day.
You have the ability to achieve any goal you want to.
You have the ability to attain success in the way you define it.
You have the ability to have THE LIFE YOU CHOOSE.
You just have to be willing TO DO – ACTION FOCUSSED
The more you do, the greater the results.
I am who I am today, and I can hold my head up high because I have succeeded through my own efforts.
Small, everyday occurrences in the past shape us into who we become, and sometimes by looking back we can find the justification and determination to move forward towards the success we deserve.
It is often so easy to give up these days or to find reasons or excuses not to do something. But, when you see how others overcame challenges much worse than ours, we can understand that there is always a path that leads to a solution and success.
I will admit, generally, it is a difficult path, but if you are willing to take it, the benefits will undoubtedly EXCEED YOUR EXPECTATIONS.
My situation was no different: I believed I was alone. I believed my life was limited.
Whilst I never wish anyone to face the violence I endured nor the negativity or the struggles I had to overcome, it was actually the best thing that could have happened to me. I hear so many times that I should not live with this negativity. But for me, it is not negative. It is a symbol of my strength, my courage and my resilience.
No matter how low I go, I will NEVER get back there again.
The traits of successful people
Now, going back to the traits of successful and unsuccessful people, and the lists you have made, Which traits do you recognise in yourself, both categories?
I found this list which I think is worth sharing both for your definition of success, and for the work we are going to do together moving forward.
10 Secrets of Successful People complied by MANDY KLOPPERS a mental health expert.
1) Successful People Take risks
Successful people don't sit on the sidelines daydreaming. They DO what they think about.
2) Successful People Possess Unwavering Self Belief
Successful people do sometimes suffer from self-doubt but they are good at talking themselves out of it or not taking their thoughts too seriously. Instead of overanalysing all that could go wrong, they concentrate on their strengths.
3) They Don’t Care What Others Think
Successful people care very much about their own opinions. Not in an arrogant, self-important way but in a faith-based way. They know what they are capable of and they have strong belief systems.
4) They Think Outside the Box
Successful people don’t tend to just accept life as “the way it is”. They constantly ask why and they constantly look for ways to improve the “way it is”.
5) They’re Optimistic at Heart
At the thought of a new project, successful people are looking at possibilities instead of looking at all the possible problems.
6) They’re Resilient/Not Afraid of Failure
Failure is seen as a clue to the puzzle. Instead of internalising failure, successful people see it as a necessary part of life.
7) Successful People Possess a “Can Do” Attitude
Enthusiastic and always ready for a challenge, successful people look at finding solutions. They are fixers in life.
8) They Take responsibility For Their Own Lives
This is a biggie. Successful people know that they are in their current position in life due to their own choices.
9) They Are Self Aware – Know Their Strengths/Weaknesses
Successful people have a healthy respect for themselves and they know what they’re good at. They also know what they aren’t that good at.
10) They Give Back
Truly successful people aren’t completely out for themselves. They see the bigger picture and they give back to others.
(I would add to point 10, without expecting any personal gain)
And on that last point, you now understand why I, and my team, believe in Paying It Forward
We have created this list as an A4 poster for you to put it somewhere you can see it every day.
Download it here: Successful People
IF YOU HAVE ALL OR SOME OF THE TRAITS OF A SUCCESSFUL PERSON, WE WANT TO SUPPORT YOU – JOIN US
You will become a member of our Madinaut Community.
Our website and blog will keep you updated and informed with relevant guidance to support your continued development.
We will also provide you with templates, e-books and downloadables that we have created to add momentum to your quest – Meaning: You will achieve your ambitions faster, overcome any challenges, and be ready to grasp new opportunities as they appear before you.
It’s about me Paying It Forward.
Gandhi said, “You must be the change YOU want to see”
Madi says, “You must be the change YOU want to see – NO EXCUSES!”
Founder Madi Group www.madisharma.org
Founder Women’s Eco-nomic & Social Think Tank www.westtworld.com
Author Madi No Excuses! www.madinoexcuses.com
Entrepreneur, International Speaker, Freelance Journalist
Listed as 1 of apolitical’s 100 Most Influential People in Gender Policy in 2018
@MadiSharma1
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