Tragic events in your past can hold the secrets towards achieving the success you deserve. So let me explain how analysing your story can impact your past, present and future story.
Stories are powerful. They can change the way we think, believe, feel, and act. But why do they matter?
As we discussed in Part 1: Victim to Entrepreneur & Changemaker - We all have a story to tell, there are many reasons why your story matters. It can provide hope, inspire change, and help others to understand their own experiences. Your story can also be a source of strength and healing for you.
The human race is the most fascinating story of all. It's a story of good and evil, of light and darkness, of triumph and tragedy. And it's a story that constantly reminds us that no matter how difficult life may seem, we always have the potential to be heroes.
Your story is written by YOU!
The villains in your story can make you the victim or the hero - the one who achieves success!
The choice is YOURS!
The hero is our inner strength, which allows us to overcome any obstacle. No matter how tough things get, we always have the power to find our inner strength and triumph over adversity. So, all our stories can have the ending we choose – We just have to know what it is we want, and be willing to fight for it.
Telling your story, analysing your past - the way you tell your story – not only affects your present, but also your future.
So now, let’s look at the analysis:
Finding Strength in Hardship: A Journey to Personal Growth
In Part1, I shared the first part of my story, the hardship, the lack of value I felt, and the oppression through which I became a “victim” – a label I chose to live under for several years.
Now this is very harsh, but I agree with Tony Robbins, “there are no victims, only volunteers!”
When we can change our mindsets and stop telling ourselves that we are victims – we can become survivors and begin our journey to not only survive but thrive!
I had to dig down deep inside myself to stop myself from using my story as a victim. I now start my story that from “the victim who I found a new strength to break free and achieve my true potential, to achieve the success I deserved, success the way I defined it, and to exceed my own expectations.” – In short, its why I am known as Victim to Changemaker.
My birth sign is a Scorpio, 25th October; and I am a very typical Scorpion.
I am passionate and have a nasty sting in my tail! I am prepared to sit and wait to sting my prey! Beware!
Scorpio is a water sign, maybe not a coincidence that part of the life I choose is to live near the ocean. But Scorpio also has another symbol, that of an Eagle.
I am also like the Eagle. I can soar high in my mind’s eye to take in the aerial vision and an overview of a situation. In political terms we would call it the ‘macro-strategy’.
Additionally, I have a very sharp eye and focus for the minute detail, and so I can home in on the key points of a distinct situation. My brain is like a grid and constantly looking to join the dots to create a network which delivers results. Hence, when you combine all these aspects, the assessment that I make on a situation, becomes much more comprehensive.
I knew I could use all my key competences to not only solve problems but also to identify opportunities. This I believe is the greatest asset for any person when facing a situation of change: How to turn a problem into an opportunity.
That’s when I changed the narrative and meaning of my story – something I had previously considered a negative was now turned into my driving force, my motivation to succeed. I could show the world that I had a value. That I could succeed and live the life I wanted on my terms.
So, the reason I always tell my story is not to gain sympathy, but to empower others who are in similar situations - and there are many.
Very often when times are difficult, we think we are the only ones going through hardship and that it will last forever.
When I look back now on my life, as the Eagle would look over a terrain, I can see that everything that happened, happened for a reason. I can look back to the times of my grandparents and parents and I am reminded also of where my strength and self-belief comes from.
Resilience in the Face of Adversity: Lessons Learned on the Path to Success
Small, everyday occurrences in the past shape us into who we become and sometimes by looking back we can find the justification and determination to continue.
It is often so easy to give up these days or to find reasons or excuses not to do something, but when you see how others overcame challenges much worse than yours, you understand that there is always a path that leads to a solution and to success.
I will admit, generally, it is a difficult path, but if you are willing to take it, the benefits will undoubtedly exceed your expectations.
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My situation was no different. I believed I was alone; I believed my life was limited.
Whilst I never wish anyone to face the violence I endured, nor the negativity or the struggles, it was actually the best thing that could have happened to me.
I hear so many times that I should not live with this negativity. But for me, it is not negative. It is a symbol of my strength, my courage and my resilience. No matter how low I go, I will NEVER get back there again.
Consider some of the small challenges you have faced in the past, maybe in your childhood and recognise how important they are in your success today.
Never take anything negatively, take it as a learning experience even if you do not yet know the reason why that lesson is being given.
Can you identify which strengths and competences you have today that could be as a result of a challenge you have faced in the past?
Could you use those competence as an asset to implement some changes in your life, or maybe in the lives of others?
Take the example of the sea: You may think that the sea is relaxing, inspiring and an ideal place for holidays. However, for me, the sea holds a special meaning: I have learned from the sea that I too have an energy like the waves; at times, I am peaceful and calm; and at times, if I want to be, I can be challenging and destructive. Nevertheless, where I have learned to harness and control my energy, I can direct it to achieve unimaginable success.
What thing from your story are you most like, and why?
What are the negative elements, that you can turn into positive assets which add value to your life today, or will do in the future?
Turning Pain into Purpose: Overcoming Obstacles
Today people often ask me what drives me. What makes me wake up every day? From where do I get my energy? Now I can reply, I am like water and the waves of the sea.
I believe, even if not scientifically proven, that Water has an immense ability to retain memory, history, and interactions that have taken place in its presence, but at the same time it always flows, it cannot be contained, and where it is contained, it will find the first opportunity to escape its container.
The sea is a never-ending flow of energy rising and falling with the influences around it, but always master of its own destiny, seeking and making its own path, where possible seeking the path of least resistance and over time leaving evidence of its strength.
The legacy of water is the beautiful planet we have today, with its glaciers, rock formations and oceans, our plants, animals and human beings.
I would like to try and leave a fraction of such a legacy.
Where do you draw your energy from?
We all have a reserve of energy, willpower and commitment, but sometimes we need to find the source of what triggers it into action.
Acknowledging that you can survive through difficult times is what will get you though some of the most challenging situations without fears in the future?
Most people who have reached great heights in life have also experienced some of the deepest lows.
Where can you build your strength from in times of need?
From Failure to Flourishing: How Struggles Lead to a Fulfilling Life
Remember? We have two choices in life – to do, or not to do
You can continue to live the story of a victim, with its blame culture, either blaming an event or person in your past for everything that is going wrong for you today - or you can change the way you are telling your story, to make it have the ending you want – the success you want to achieve.
And now you know why in my company, the Madi Group , we have a No Blame Culture!
Are you in control of your mind, or is your mind in control of you?
I know, you think I am being harsh, but consider this
How many people around you are complaining?
How many people are blaming others or an event that happened to them for their current situation?
And how many of those people are actually doing anything about it to change their situation?
I know, the answer is very few, because it’s easier to blame someone else than do something about it yourself.
The truth is, the majority of people are living their story, the way they want to tell it to others, and the way they want to be seen – And sorry to be direct, but that’s usually in a negative context: They’re stuck in the same job, making the same salary, in a miserable relationship, and feeling unfulfilled because of someone or something else – never because of themselves.
They wake up each day, go to work, come home, and watch TV. They do the same things over and over, day in and day out. They never take the time to step back and look at their lives to see if there might be something more they could be doing.
They're afraid of change, of taking risks.
But what if there was something more?
IMAGINE ...
What if you could be living a life of excitement and adventure?
What if you could be an Entrepreneur, seize opportunities, and find success?
It all starts with changing your mindset. Instead of living in fear, start living with excitement and possibility.
Start looking for opportunities instead of staying glued to the safety of your routine.
When you make this mindset shift, anything becomes possible.
So don't let yourself stay stuck in the past – it's time to create a new story for your life!
That’s where I am trying to get you to - To have the Entrepreneurial/Changemaker mindset –
Step out of your comfort zone and make things happen which build on the learning from your past, but which don’t blame your past.
Take the difficult moments from your past and see how they have empowered you, how you have learned from them?
The Transformative Power of Adversity: Finding Success in the Face of Challenge
All those people from my past who were nasty to me, who told me I couldn’t do something, yes, I should hate them, but I don’t! They are the people I am most grateful to because they made me who I am today – they were the ones who made me realise my true potential.
Who are those people in your life?
Now understand why you are so strong and why you can go on to do so many wonderful and inspirational things.
See opportunities from obstacles. Push yourself to the next level – reach for the success you deserve.
Every story has a villain and a hero, and the hero succeeds because the villain makes an ordinary person find their inner strength. In real life, humans are heroes. Everyone has the potential to be heroic, whether they realize it or not. It's just a matter of finding that inner strength and using it to overcome whatever challenges come your way.
Villainy is in every individual’s story and it can take many forms, from the small-scale nuisance to large-scale destruction. But no matter what form it takes, villains only have power over us if we let them – that’s when we become victims. We have the power to rise up and be heroes ourselves, and that’s when we become survivors and successes!
Your Story Can Motivate You Towards Success
So, if you're feeling stuck in your old story, remember that it's never too late to change it. There are always opportunities for those who are willing to seize them. And with the right mindset, anything is possible.
Be one of a select few who are writing a new story!
Stop living in the past and start looking towards the future.
Believe in yourself and your ability to achieve great things.
Then go out there and make it happen!
If you would like some tips on how to tell your story – Check out our blog: The Power of Women's Stories: Why Your Voice Matters – The tips towards the end of the blog are relevant for any gender.
I am not a certified coach, but I am an experienced leader who has been working on personal development and communication for several decades. I don’t bite, and I don’t charge unless I know I can help. All initial conversations are free and confidential.
Gandhi said, “You must be the change YOU want to see”
Madi says, “You must be the change YOU want to see – NO EXCUSES!”
Founder Madi Group www.madisharma.org
Founder Women’s Eco-nomic & Social Think Tank www.westt.eu Author Madi No Excuses! www.madinoexcuses.com Entrepreneur, International Speaker, Freelance Journalist Listed as 1 of apolitical’s 100 Most Influential People in Gender Policy in 2018
@MadiSharma1
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